Wellington Agency Installs Slide Instead of Career Progression Plan
WELLINGTON – In what insiders are calling 'a thrilling descent into ambiguity', boutique creative agency Swatch & Happen has replaced its entire career progression framework with a stainless steel spiral slide.
The move, unveiled with techno music, complimentary flat whites, and exactly one unlabelled beanbag, is part of a bold initiative to 'redefine trajectory' within agency culture. The five-metre slide spirals from the Strategy floor to Accounts, bypassing HR entirely — both symbolically and literally. According to Managing Partner Jen Fritters, the slide is a 'dynamic metaphor for mobility, momentum, and the kind of vibes we’re trying to cultivate in Q3.'
Staff reactions have been mixed. "I do love a bit of whimsy," said copywriter Aroha King, while nursing what appeared to be a fairly serious carpet burn. "But I asked about upskilling and got handed a helmet." One junior designer, who asked not to be named, reported being trapped in the slide for twenty minutes last Thursday, citing 'poor sock traction' and 'some light panic'.
Despite the setbacks, internal feedback remains 'mostly airborne', according to a survey conducted via Post-it notes left near the kombucha fridge. Swatch & Happen maintains that the slide is not just a play feature, but a bold signal to clients that they 'take risk seriously'. A second slide to the car park has been proposed but is delayed pending resource consent and ergonomic testing on interns.
The move, unveiled with techno music, complimentary flat whites, and exactly one unlabelled beanbag, is part of a bold initiative to 'redefine trajectory' within agency culture. The five-metre slide spirals from the Strategy floor to Accounts, bypassing HR entirely — both symbolically and literally. According to Managing Partner Jen Fritters, the slide is a 'dynamic metaphor for mobility, momentum, and the kind of vibes we’re trying to cultivate in Q3.'
Staff reactions have been mixed. "I do love a bit of whimsy," said copywriter Aroha King, while nursing what appeared to be a fairly serious carpet burn. "But I asked about upskilling and got handed a helmet." One junior designer, who asked not to be named, reported being trapped in the slide for twenty minutes last Thursday, citing 'poor sock traction' and 'some light panic'.
Despite the setbacks, internal feedback remains 'mostly airborne', according to a survey conducted via Post-it notes left near the kombucha fridge. Swatch & Happen maintains that the slide is not just a play feature, but a bold signal to clients that they 'take risk seriously'. A second slide to the car park has been proposed but is delayed pending resource consent and ergonomic testing on interns.