Agency Unveils Revolutionary Internal Tool: 'DeckShuffle™' Now Randomises PowerPoint Fonts On The Hour
AUCKLAND, NZ — In a bold move to optimise productivity and fully embrace chaos, boutique marketing agency LoudHorse has announced the launch of DeckShuffle™, a proprietary new tool that automatically shuffles fonts and layouts within client PowerPoint decks every 60 minutes.
"It’s about keeping the creative energy alive," said Creative Director Bryce Tinny, 32, while rearranging a post-its mural that simply read 'Vibes'. "This isn’t just a font thing. It’s a movement. Helvetica Neue might be winning at minute 12, but who knows what the energy will call for at 2:07pm. Could be Comic Sans. Could be Wingdings. That’s the magic."
DeckShuffle™ was developed internally over the course of seven months using four junior creatives, three interns, and one very angry UX freelancer. The tool is integrated into every agency presentation and promises "zero consistency, maximum authenticity." One senior account manager described it as "like watching your career slowly evaporate in 16:9."
LoudHorse plans to monetise the IP by offering 'Deck Audits' where its Strategy Team will professionally gaslight clients into believing their Q2 Sales Report always had lime green drop shadows and clip art dolphins. A pilot client in the pet food sector responded to the service by cancelling all upcoming meetings and requesting future updates via fax only.
DeckShuffle™ officially rolls out next Monday, but the agency has already begun a petition to make Papyrus cool again by September.
"This isn't design," said CEO Lana Burberry. "This is disruption. This is art. This is us forgetting version control ever existed."
After internal feedback, a version of DeckShuffle™ for Excel is reportedly in early beta. Working name: 'Sort of Sort It™'.
"It’s about keeping the creative energy alive," said Creative Director Bryce Tinny, 32, while rearranging a post-its mural that simply read 'Vibes'. "This isn’t just a font thing. It’s a movement. Helvetica Neue might be winning at minute 12, but who knows what the energy will call for at 2:07pm. Could be Comic Sans. Could be Wingdings. That’s the magic."
DeckShuffle™ was developed internally over the course of seven months using four junior creatives, three interns, and one very angry UX freelancer. The tool is integrated into every agency presentation and promises "zero consistency, maximum authenticity." One senior account manager described it as "like watching your career slowly evaporate in 16:9."
LoudHorse plans to monetise the IP by offering 'Deck Audits' where its Strategy Team will professionally gaslight clients into believing their Q2 Sales Report always had lime green drop shadows and clip art dolphins. A pilot client in the pet food sector responded to the service by cancelling all upcoming meetings and requesting future updates via fax only.
DeckShuffle™ officially rolls out next Monday, but the agency has already begun a petition to make Papyrus cool again by September.
"This isn't design," said CEO Lana Burberry. "This is disruption. This is art. This is us forgetting version control ever existed."
After internal feedback, a version of DeckShuffle™ for Excel is reportedly in early beta. Working name: 'Sort of Sort It™'.