Wellington Agency Appoints Chief Synergy Officer To Manage Weekly Zoom Icebreakers
In a bold move to streamline internal synergy and elevate Wednesday morning banter, boutique Wellington agency Moss & Pixel has announced the appointment of a Chief Synergy Officer (CSO). The role, reportedly advertised exclusively in the agency’s Slack channel for six months without response, will be filled by Gareth from finance, mostly because his name came up during a forced ideation session called ‘Synergiestorm’.
The CSO’s top priority is coordinating Zoom icebreakers, which have recently ‘slid catastrophically into chaos’, according to leaked internal feedback gathered via post-it notes and the MD’s dream journal. Last week’s icebreaker, ‘Show Us Your Lunch’, reportedly sparked inter-departmental tension when creative director Shelley presented a Daiso bento box while a junior designer revealed a single cold hash brown wrapped in a Bunnings receipt.
Alongside the icebreakers, Gareth will oversee the agency’s new initiative to ‘unlock spiritual team energy’ via optional 7:12am breathwork sessions and mandatory weekly playlists that must include at least two flute-based remixes. Failure to submit a 'vibration score' on Tuesdays will result in a Slack emoji warning and potential exfoliation during All Hands Meetings.
In a LinkedIn post applauding Gareth’s appointment, agency founder Jayde WithanYe’ said, “We didn’t know what synergy was. Now, thanks to Gareth’s pivot-friendly vibes and Excel-based empathy funnels, we can finally visualise our togetherness as a brand asset. Also he makes a great carrot cake.”
The CSO’s top priority is coordinating Zoom icebreakers, which have recently ‘slid catastrophically into chaos’, according to leaked internal feedback gathered via post-it notes and the MD’s dream journal. Last week’s icebreaker, ‘Show Us Your Lunch’, reportedly sparked inter-departmental tension when creative director Shelley presented a Daiso bento box while a junior designer revealed a single cold hash brown wrapped in a Bunnings receipt.
Alongside the icebreakers, Gareth will oversee the agency’s new initiative to ‘unlock spiritual team energy’ via optional 7:12am breathwork sessions and mandatory weekly playlists that must include at least two flute-based remixes. Failure to submit a 'vibration score' on Tuesdays will result in a Slack emoji warning and potential exfoliation during All Hands Meetings.
In a LinkedIn post applauding Gareth’s appointment, agency founder Jayde WithanYe’ said, “We didn’t know what synergy was. Now, thanks to Gareth’s pivot-friendly vibes and Excel-based empathy funnels, we can finally visualise our togetherness as a brand asset. Also he makes a great carrot cake.”