Local Agency Announces ‘Quarterly Wank-Off’ to Celebrate Most Unnecessary Campaign
Auckland-based creative agency Biscuit & Clutch has announced the inaugural 'Quarterly Wank-Off,' a spirited internal competition to determine which campaign best embodies the phrase 'looks cool, achieves nothing.'
The idea reportedly emerged during a Friday strategy session that turned into an espresso martini bender. According to insiders, the competition was greenlit after someone uttered, 'What if we just leaned into it?' The phrase has since been printed in Helvetica Neue Light across kitchen mugs and tote bags.
Shortlisted entries for this quarter include: a 12-minute brand documentary shot in Morocco for a local courier company, a microsite that requires retina scan access to view a single JPEG, and a pop-up store that offers nothing but vibes. Biscuit & Clutch’s Strategy Director, who asked to remain anonymous but still wanted her full LinkedIn included, described it as "a celebration of creativity freed from the tyranny of ROI."
Winners will receive a gilded USB stick and breakfast with a judge from the 2015 D&AD jury. Feedback sessions will be held the following week, where junior staff will nod enthusiastically while silently questioning every career decision they’ve ever made. Applications for Q2 are now open, pending somebody remembering the Drive password.
The idea reportedly emerged during a Friday strategy session that turned into an espresso martini bender. According to insiders, the competition was greenlit after someone uttered, 'What if we just leaned into it?' The phrase has since been printed in Helvetica Neue Light across kitchen mugs and tote bags.
Shortlisted entries for this quarter include: a 12-minute brand documentary shot in Morocco for a local courier company, a microsite that requires retina scan access to view a single JPEG, and a pop-up store that offers nothing but vibes. Biscuit & Clutch’s Strategy Director, who asked to remain anonymous but still wanted her full LinkedIn included, described it as "a celebration of creativity freed from the tyranny of ROI."
Winners will receive a gilded USB stick and breakfast with a judge from the 2015 D&AD jury. Feedback sessions will be held the following week, where junior staff will nod enthusiastically while silently questioning every career decision they’ve ever made. Applications for Q2 are now open, pending somebody remembering the Drive password.