Local Agency Launches Bold New Initiative to Eliminate All Chairs by 2026
In an unprecedented move that has already sparked three minor hip injuries and one passive-aggressive Slack thread, Auckland creative agency Moist Pigeon announced this morning a bold plan to eliminate all chairs from its offices by 2026.
"Chairs are the silent killer of creative flow," said Managing Director Kate Remuera, standing awkwardly beside a yoga ball and what appeared to be an upturned compost bin. "Our proprietary research, conducted entirely within a 17-person strategy workshop fuelled by raw almonds and ennui, has shown a direct link between sitting and a lack of client vision."
The move comes as part of Moist Pigeon's wider "Perpetual Momentum" initiative, which also includes rotating hot desks every two hours, a mandatory Slackbot that deploys classic Jack Welch quotes every morning, and a company-wide ban on saying "touch base" except ironically (but only after 3pm).
Early reactions among staff have been mixed. One junior creative, who wished to remain anonymous but smelled faintly of turmeric, mused, "I guess I can storyboard while squatting. My glutes are insane now." Meanwhile, an account manager was seen perching on a stack of outdated brand guidelines, muttering, "This is fine. This is what innovation feels like."
Moist Pigeon has promised quarterly blood circulation audits and is reportedly in talks with a Melbourne-based wellness consultancy to license the concept under “Anti-Sit™”.
"Chairs are the silent killer of creative flow," said Managing Director Kate Remuera, standing awkwardly beside a yoga ball and what appeared to be an upturned compost bin. "Our proprietary research, conducted entirely within a 17-person strategy workshop fuelled by raw almonds and ennui, has shown a direct link between sitting and a lack of client vision."
The move comes as part of Moist Pigeon's wider "Perpetual Momentum" initiative, which also includes rotating hot desks every two hours, a mandatory Slackbot that deploys classic Jack Welch quotes every morning, and a company-wide ban on saying "touch base" except ironically (but only after 3pm).
Early reactions among staff have been mixed. One junior creative, who wished to remain anonymous but smelled faintly of turmeric, mused, "I guess I can storyboard while squatting. My glutes are insane now." Meanwhile, an account manager was seen perching on a stack of outdated brand guidelines, muttering, "This is fine. This is what innovation feels like."
Moist Pigeon has promised quarterly blood circulation audits and is reportedly in talks with a Melbourne-based wellness consultancy to license the concept under “Anti-Sit™”.