Wellington Agency Launches Bold New Strategy: Just Yelling Louder
In what industry insiders are calling 'either a stroke of genius or serious inner turmoil,' Wellington-based creative agency Flummox & Spigot has pivoted to a revolutionary new client strategy: yelling. Physically. Louder.
“Everyone's whispering soft power and authenticity,” said Executive Strategy Director Luna Jeffries, while wearing a seafoam green suit and suspiciously not blinking. “But then we thought, what if we just shrieked about the product until people gave up and bought it?”
The method, dubbed 'Volume First™', was piloted with a boutique oat milk brand last month. A paid actor followed commuters around Wellington Railway Station at 6:42am yelling, ‘IT’S NUTRITIONALLY EQUIVALENT TO DAIRY!’ for four days straight. Sales spiked briefly before returning to normal levels. The actor has since moved to Rotorua for 'quiet'.
Internal Slack messages reveal the agency tested alternative concepts including Drum Circle Engagement, Passive-Aggressive DM Strategy, and something referred to only as the ‘PowerPoint Rodeo’. Unofficial reports confirm several junior team members now suffer from a recurring dream where KPIs are physically screaming. Management says this is 'on-brand'.
Flummox & Spigot is next looking at whispering in unison during yoga sessions to launch a new brand of turmeric toothpaste. The agency confirmed they will be doing literally nothing about any of this for the South Island.
“Everyone's whispering soft power and authenticity,” said Executive Strategy Director Luna Jeffries, while wearing a seafoam green suit and suspiciously not blinking. “But then we thought, what if we just shrieked about the product until people gave up and bought it?”
The method, dubbed 'Volume First™', was piloted with a boutique oat milk brand last month. A paid actor followed commuters around Wellington Railway Station at 6:42am yelling, ‘IT’S NUTRITIONALLY EQUIVALENT TO DAIRY!’ for four days straight. Sales spiked briefly before returning to normal levels. The actor has since moved to Rotorua for 'quiet'.
Internal Slack messages reveal the agency tested alternative concepts including Drum Circle Engagement, Passive-Aggressive DM Strategy, and something referred to only as the ‘PowerPoint Rodeo’. Unofficial reports confirm several junior team members now suffer from a recurring dream where KPIs are physically screaming. Management says this is 'on-brand'.
Flummox & Spigot is next looking at whispering in unison during yoga sessions to launch a new brand of turmeric toothpaste. The agency confirmed they will be doing literally nothing about any of this for the South Island.