Auckland Agency Launches World’s First Brand Tone Translator for Passive-Aggressive Clients
AUCKLAND, April 19 — Creative agency Beige Flamingo (formerly disbanded in 2016, now reforming after a shared bong at Splore) has announced the launch of a groundbreaking new service: a ‘Brand Tone Translator’ designed to convert vague, passive-aggressive client feedback into actionable creative direction.
The tool, internally codenamed ‘Deborah’, has already been trialled on five FMCG brands no one is legally allowed to admit are owned by Nestlé. According to Beige Flamingo’s press release, Deborah uses a proprietary algorithm that detects latent passive aggression in emails containing phrases like “let’s revisit”, “just circling back”, and “not quite what we had in mind but you’re close”, then translates them into clear, constructive instructions such as “make the logo 400% bigger” or “this reminds me of an ex, please bin immediately.”
“We noticed very few creatives could decode a client saying ‘it’s just not popping’,” said Beige Flamingo’s Head of Strategy, Julian Might-Woods, who wears turtlenecks in summer. “Deborah understands that ‘can we sharpen the concept’ usually means ‘the CEO’s nephew didn’t get it’, and translates from Marketingese into pathos-laced, ego-resistant Slack speak.”
The agency has also issued laminated ‘Deborah Glossary Cards’ to all staff, including account managers, who reportedly cried during onboarding due to the accuracy of the phrase ‘we love it but...’. A complementary workshop series, ‘How to Smile While Dying Inside (Intermediate)’, launches next quarter.
The tool, internally codenamed ‘Deborah’, has already been trialled on five FMCG brands no one is legally allowed to admit are owned by Nestlé. According to Beige Flamingo’s press release, Deborah uses a proprietary algorithm that detects latent passive aggression in emails containing phrases like “let’s revisit”, “just circling back”, and “not quite what we had in mind but you’re close”, then translates them into clear, constructive instructions such as “make the logo 400% bigger” or “this reminds me of an ex, please bin immediately.”
“We noticed very few creatives could decode a client saying ‘it’s just not popping’,” said Beige Flamingo’s Head of Strategy, Julian Might-Woods, who wears turtlenecks in summer. “Deborah understands that ‘can we sharpen the concept’ usually means ‘the CEO’s nephew didn’t get it’, and translates from Marketingese into pathos-laced, ego-resistant Slack speak.”
The agency has also issued laminated ‘Deborah Glossary Cards’ to all staff, including account managers, who reportedly cried during onboarding due to the accuracy of the phrase ‘we love it but...’. A complementary workshop series, ‘How to Smile While Dying Inside (Intermediate)’, launches next quarter.