The Loyalty Card Cult and the Rise of the Points Witchdoctors
I recently watched someone at Gripper's Café recite 19 digits from an old receipt like it was a wartime code. She was claiming her latte points. The barista, a postgrad in anthropology, nodded solemnly and tapped it in. Nobody batted an eye.
We are living in a golden age of loyalty alchemy. Brands have gone weird with it. It’s not just stamps and stars anymore. It's multi-tiered gamification labyrinths that would make a casino blush. There’s Platinum Turbo. Galaxy Crunch Elite. One chain offers a free coffee only after you complete a 'tasting mission' that includes sharing a coffee photo in three separate weather conditions. Rain apparently adds a 10% flavour bonus. I’m not making this up. I signed up.
The thing is, it’s working. Kinda brilliantly. People are teaching their kids to scan loyalty apps before they can read. We’ve created a culture of point-sorcerers, comparing redemption rituals like recipes. And behind all this is an army of marketers treating every purchase like a mini RPG quest. Certain flavours unlock badges. Certain time zones give boosts. I met someone who moved her morning flat white to 3.25pm just to double her multiplier.
It’s ridiculous, yes. But it’s also the most delightful blend of storytelling and behavioural science we’ve seen in ages. Loyalty isn’t about retention anymore. It’s a theatre. And every QR tap is applause. If you’re designing in this chaos, throw in a twist. Make them work for it. Let the madness bloom.
We are living in a golden age of loyalty alchemy. Brands have gone weird with it. It’s not just stamps and stars anymore. It's multi-tiered gamification labyrinths that would make a casino blush. There’s Platinum Turbo. Galaxy Crunch Elite. One chain offers a free coffee only after you complete a 'tasting mission' that includes sharing a coffee photo in three separate weather conditions. Rain apparently adds a 10% flavour bonus. I’m not making this up. I signed up.
The thing is, it’s working. Kinda brilliantly. People are teaching their kids to scan loyalty apps before they can read. We’ve created a culture of point-sorcerers, comparing redemption rituals like recipes. And behind all this is an army of marketers treating every purchase like a mini RPG quest. Certain flavours unlock badges. Certain time zones give boosts. I met someone who moved her morning flat white to 3.25pm just to double her multiplier.
It’s ridiculous, yes. But it’s also the most delightful blend of storytelling and behavioural science we’ve seen in ages. Loyalty isn’t about retention anymore. It’s a theatre. And every QR tap is applause. If you’re designing in this chaos, throw in a twist. Make them work for it. Let the madness bloom.