Agency Declares War On The 11:03am Meeting
Independent agency Brightwater & Hale has announced a bold new efficiency platform targeting what it calls "the nation’s most dangerous calendar slot", 11:03am. After a six week internal audit, the agency confirmed that 83 percent of meetings scheduled at 11:03am could have been "a nod in the hallway" and 12 percent were "someone practising saying synergy out loud".
Managing Partner Clive Dargan said the time was selected in 2017 by a former Operations Director who "liked odd numbers and quiet dominance". Since then, the slot has become a spiritual dumping ground for agenda items such as "quick alignment" and "thought starters". Staff reported feeling "pre-lunch but emotionally post-lunch" by 11:17am. One senior creative described the slot as "where ideas go to wait for sandwiches".
In response, Brightwater & Hale has launched Project High Noon. All 11:03am meetings will be moved to 10:58am or 11:12am, times described as "decisive" and "nutritionally honest". The agency has also introduced a Meeting Bouncer, a rotating midweight strategist who stands at the door and asks attendees to summarise their contribution in seven words or fewer. Anyone exceeding the limit is handed a laminated card reading "Email It" and gently redirected toward the stairs.
Early results are promising. Productivity is reportedly up 14 percent. Biscuit consumption has stabilised. Most importantly, staff say they no longer experience what the agency clinically terms "calendar vertigo". Brightwater & Hale is now exploring further reforms, including replacing the phrase "quick question" with a small bell that can only be rung twice per day. A white paper is expected once someone finds the time, ideally not at 11:03am.
Managing Partner Clive Dargan said the time was selected in 2017 by a former Operations Director who "liked odd numbers and quiet dominance". Since then, the slot has become a spiritual dumping ground for agenda items such as "quick alignment" and "thought starters". Staff reported feeling "pre-lunch but emotionally post-lunch" by 11:17am. One senior creative described the slot as "where ideas go to wait for sandwiches".
In response, Brightwater & Hale has launched Project High Noon. All 11:03am meetings will be moved to 10:58am or 11:12am, times described as "decisive" and "nutritionally honest". The agency has also introduced a Meeting Bouncer, a rotating midweight strategist who stands at the door and asks attendees to summarise their contribution in seven words or fewer. Anyone exceeding the limit is handed a laminated card reading "Email It" and gently redirected toward the stairs.
Early results are promising. Productivity is reportedly up 14 percent. Biscuit consumption has stabilised. Most importantly, staff say they no longer experience what the agency clinically terms "calendar vertigo". Brightwater & Hale is now exploring further reforms, including replacing the phrase "quick question" with a small bell that can only be rung twice per day. A white paper is expected once someone finds the time, ideally not at 11:03am.