Marketing Agency Announces Bold New Strategy: Doing Everything Slightly Worse, But In Beige
In a disruptive move that's already shaking four LinkedIn posts per hour, Wellington-based creative agency Spex & Rindle has unveiled its 2024 strategy: 'Brand Beigeification™'. According to a 97-page Google Slides deck sent to unsuspecting clients at 11.42pm on a Thursday, the initiative aims to 'neutralise disruption fatigue by aggressively dialling down the vibe'.
“Consumers are overwhelmed,” said Creative Director Tristan LeVayne, who wore two different beanies during the announcement. “There’s too much colour, too many fonts. We want your brand to feel like a freshly photocopied HR manual. Calming. Odourless. Entirely avoidable.” LeVayne denied allegations that the concept was born out of a failed Canva template and a mild existential crisis.
The Beigeification pilot launched last month with a rebrand of West Auckland’s fourth-most-popular craft kombucha brand, Glug. The old psychedelic label has been replaced with a plain tan background and Times New Roman spelling out 'Kombucha Drink'. The new tagline, 'It’s Liquid. Honestly.', was focus-grouped on a Marist College parents' WhatsApp chat and deemed “not-terrible” by 38% of respondents.
Early results are promising. Spex & Rindle reports a 13% increase in brand apathy and a 71% drop in customer-generated content, which they celebrated as 'a total victory over engagement tyranny'. Phase Two of the strategy, launching in April, involves using only photos of rotary phones and a man named Gary in all OOH campaigns. Gary is not a designer, but he does own trousers.
“Consumers are overwhelmed,” said Creative Director Tristan LeVayne, who wore two different beanies during the announcement. “There’s too much colour, too many fonts. We want your brand to feel like a freshly photocopied HR manual. Calming. Odourless. Entirely avoidable.” LeVayne denied allegations that the concept was born out of a failed Canva template and a mild existential crisis.
The Beigeification pilot launched last month with a rebrand of West Auckland’s fourth-most-popular craft kombucha brand, Glug. The old psychedelic label has been replaced with a plain tan background and Times New Roman spelling out 'Kombucha Drink'. The new tagline, 'It’s Liquid. Honestly.', was focus-grouped on a Marist College parents' WhatsApp chat and deemed “not-terrible” by 38% of respondents.
Early results are promising. Spex & Rindle reports a 13% increase in brand apathy and a 71% drop in customer-generated content, which they celebrated as 'a total victory over engagement tyranny'. Phase Two of the strategy, launching in April, involves using only photos of rotary phones and a man named Gary in all OOH campaigns. Gary is not a designer, but he does own trousers.