Agency Announces Mandatory Breathwork Sessions After Pitch Losses
Auckland-based creative agency ThinkSnare has today announced a sweeping internal policy: all staff are now required to attend daily breathwork sessions following client pitch losses, awkward Zoom silences, or agency-wide Slack typos.
"We realised our people weren't just stressed, they were spiritually brittle," said CEO and part-time oat milk evangelist, Jordan Lux. "By introducing mandatory post-defeat exhales, we hope to realign the team's chakras, or at least distract them from reviewing their own brainstorm notes with existential dread."
The sessions, dubbed ‘Oxygen Syncs,’ occur in the former DJ booth of the agency’s kitchen-slash-meeting area. Held promptly at 3:17 p.m. ("a numerologically potent time," per internal memo), staff sit cross-legged on limited-edition TikTok-branded yoga mats, breathing heavily in unison while a Spotify playlist loops the sound of possums mating.
In addition to regular breathwork, the agency next plans to launch a ‘Healing Wall’ constructed entirely from unused campaign concepts and gently weeping copywriters. "We’re not just building brands," Lux noted, resting one hand on a kombucha tap, "we're building resilience, one sigh at a time."
"We realised our people weren't just stressed, they were spiritually brittle," said CEO and part-time oat milk evangelist, Jordan Lux. "By introducing mandatory post-defeat exhales, we hope to realign the team's chakras, or at least distract them from reviewing their own brainstorm notes with existential dread."
The sessions, dubbed ‘Oxygen Syncs,’ occur in the former DJ booth of the agency’s kitchen-slash-meeting area. Held promptly at 3:17 p.m. ("a numerologically potent time," per internal memo), staff sit cross-legged on limited-edition TikTok-branded yoga mats, breathing heavily in unison while a Spotify playlist loops the sound of possums mating.
In addition to regular breathwork, the agency next plans to launch a ‘Healing Wall’ constructed entirely from unused campaign concepts and gently weeping copywriters. "We’re not just building brands," Lux noted, resting one hand on a kombucha tap, "we're building resilience, one sigh at a time."