Auckland PR Agency Hosts Silent Brainstorm to Reduce Carbon Footprint, Ends in Existential Collapse
Auckland-based communications firm Pixel & Gristle has proudly declared the world’s first fully carbon-neutral brainstorm session after its entire creative team sat in complete silence for 90 minutes, emitting nothing but awkward eye contact and passive resentment.
The initiative, dubbed 'Think Quietly, Act Loudly', was spearheaded by Strategy Director and part-time kombucha brewer, Charlene T., after a late-night vision quest brought on by expired oat milk. 'When you strip away verbal exchanges, post-it notes, and that one guy who always says "let’s circle back"—you get to the raw, authentic core of ideation,' Charlene said, aggressively sweeping unused whiteboard markers into a compostable bin.
Staff were asked to leave phones in a Faraday cage, communicate only via eyebrow movement, and wear bamboo-fibre booties to prevent “idea contamination by sneaker culture.” Results of the session included one half-baked campaign involving a potato mascot named Spudré and an alarming uptick in people quitting to become ceramicists.
Internal feedback was mixed. Senior Copywriter Gabe claimed it was 'the most mentally freeing experience since the agency stopped offering free sparkling water,' while the Accounts Director has not spoken since. The agency plans to release their next campaign in the form of a dream, which will be accessible only via lucid sleep. 'The future is subtle,' Charlene noted, 'and possibly telepathic.'
The initiative, dubbed 'Think Quietly, Act Loudly', was spearheaded by Strategy Director and part-time kombucha brewer, Charlene T., after a late-night vision quest brought on by expired oat milk. 'When you strip away verbal exchanges, post-it notes, and that one guy who always says "let’s circle back"—you get to the raw, authentic core of ideation,' Charlene said, aggressively sweeping unused whiteboard markers into a compostable bin.
Staff were asked to leave phones in a Faraday cage, communicate only via eyebrow movement, and wear bamboo-fibre booties to prevent “idea contamination by sneaker culture.” Results of the session included one half-baked campaign involving a potato mascot named Spudré and an alarming uptick in people quitting to become ceramicists.
Internal feedback was mixed. Senior Copywriter Gabe claimed it was 'the most mentally freeing experience since the agency stopped offering free sparkling water,' while the Accounts Director has not spoken since. The agency plans to release their next campaign in the form of a dream, which will be accessible only via lucid sleep. 'The future is subtle,' Charlene noted, 'and possibly telepathic.'