Agency Launches Groundbreaking 'Internal Memo Mondays' to Boost Billable Hours
In a bold move towards redefining efficiency, Auckland-based creative agency Screech & Sizzle has proudly announced the launch of 'Internal Memo Mondays'. The weekly initiative, described internally as 'a structured brainstorm about having a brainstorm', is aimed at increasing cross-team synergy, abstract ideation, and—most importantly—billable hours.
The idea came after an account manager allegedly produced a 17-slide deck explaining why no one had opened her last internal email. Instead of confronting the underlying communication issues, leadership leaned in, identifying internal comms themselves as an untapped revenue stream. “We realised we’d been giving away memos for free,” said Strategy Director Liam Rhodestone while furiously scribbling on a glass whiteboard no one could read.
From now on, every Monday morning, staff are contractually required to spend four hours generating, formatting, and live-reacting to a minimum of two internal memos per person. The goal? To generate a sense of communication so dense it becomes profitable. Creative Director Marnie Simmonds noted, "We’re treating internal alignment as a client now. We're pitching to ourselves. It's really disruptive."
Subsidiary perks include a proprietary Slack plug-in that sends self-congratulatory reactions to your own messages, and prizes awarded monthly for 'Best Use of a Pie Chart to Hide Confusion'. The first winner was an intern who confidently pie-charted a timeline. The agency has hinted at a mid-year extension into 'Thursday Thought Showers', but only once morale metrics on Memo Mondays hit KPI: 438 unread messages per channel, minimum.
The idea came after an account manager allegedly produced a 17-slide deck explaining why no one had opened her last internal email. Instead of confronting the underlying communication issues, leadership leaned in, identifying internal comms themselves as an untapped revenue stream. “We realised we’d been giving away memos for free,” said Strategy Director Liam Rhodestone while furiously scribbling on a glass whiteboard no one could read.
From now on, every Monday morning, staff are contractually required to spend four hours generating, formatting, and live-reacting to a minimum of two internal memos per person. The goal? To generate a sense of communication so dense it becomes profitable. Creative Director Marnie Simmonds noted, "We’re treating internal alignment as a client now. We're pitching to ourselves. It's really disruptive."
Subsidiary perks include a proprietary Slack plug-in that sends self-congratulatory reactions to your own messages, and prizes awarded monthly for 'Best Use of a Pie Chart to Hide Confusion'. The first winner was an intern who confidently pie-charted a timeline. The agency has hinted at a mid-year extension into 'Thursday Thought Showers', but only once morale metrics on Memo Mondays hit KPI: 438 unread messages per channel, minimum.