Agency Declares War on Deadlines, Replaces Them with 'Vibes-Based Milestones'
AUCKLAND, NZ — In a daring move that's already causing tremors from Ponsonby to Parnell, local creative agency Slanted & Pantone has announced it will no longer acknowledge deadlines as a legitimate construct. Effective immediately, all client projects will be guided by what the agency is calling 'vibes-based milestones'.
“We just feel like deadlines are very 2021,” said creative director Dwayne McLaird, who once missed a pitch meeting because Mercury was in retrograde. “Our new method prioritises cosmic flow, gut instinct, and whether or not our junior art director is having a good hair day.”
The shift comes after what sources describe as 'a prolonged agency-wide cleanse', prompted by an intern lighting white sage in the Google Calendar room. Instead of rigid timelines, project updates will now be delivered via voice notes sent at 3:17am, ideally after three espresso martinis and a sunrise meditation.
Clients are already adapting. A spokesperson from major account client Crate & Nibble, the boutique cheese subscription startup, said, “Honestly, we were never sure what should happen when anyway. Last month our campaign went live before the strategy had been written. This... feels more honest.” In related news, Trello boards have been rechristened 'Journey Scrolls' and Post-it notes are now banned unless they are made of fermented beet pulp and blessed by Account Service.
“We just feel like deadlines are very 2021,” said creative director Dwayne McLaird, who once missed a pitch meeting because Mercury was in retrograde. “Our new method prioritises cosmic flow, gut instinct, and whether or not our junior art director is having a good hair day.”
The shift comes after what sources describe as 'a prolonged agency-wide cleanse', prompted by an intern lighting white sage in the Google Calendar room. Instead of rigid timelines, project updates will now be delivered via voice notes sent at 3:17am, ideally after three espresso martinis and a sunrise meditation.
Clients are already adapting. A spokesperson from major account client Crate & Nibble, the boutique cheese subscription startup, said, “Honestly, we were never sure what should happen when anyway. Last month our campaign went live before the strategy had been written. This... feels more honest.” In related news, Trello boards have been rechristened 'Journey Scrolls' and Post-it notes are now banned unless they are made of fermented beet pulp and blessed by Account Service.