New ‘Microconference’ Format Let’s Agencies Charge $7,000 to Meet in a Janitor’s Closet
AUCKLAND, NZ – In a bold strategic pivot from basically doing less with more, Auckland-based agency Clench & Scatter has officially debuted its new premium B2B networking format: the Microconference™. The first trial run occurred last week in the janitor’s closet behind Level 4’s gender-neutral bathroom at GridAKL. Seven agency heads, a wet mop, and one spilled soy flat white were in attendance.
According to Clench & Scatter’s Head of Transformation (previously their Head of Instagram Reels), the concept came from a realisation that most conferences are too full of… people and ideas. “No one remembers keynote speakers. Everyone remembers that weird, overlong convo in the hallway with someone who worked on the Whittaker’s Oat Milk pitch,” she said, while adjusting an ironic lanyard printed with Comic Sans.
Microconferences are capped at three attendees, a 13-minute agenda, and one untouched antipasto platter. Some sessions end early if someone gets anxious or realises they haven’t posted to LinkedIn in 20 minutes. Rooms must be windowless and signal-deprived, ensuring the true agency experience: disorientation.
As for pricing, the agency is unapologetic. “$7,000 per participant is actually below market, if you account for the free branded socks and hard seltzer we provide,” said the CFO, who joined the company last Wednesday. Future topics include ‘Unlocking Authentic Engagement Through Apologising Less’ and ‘How to Rebrand Your Break Room as a Culture Lab’. Early bird registrations have already sold out, with several clients reportedly locking in sessions for their dogs, "just in case there’s a vibe check value-add."
According to Clench & Scatter’s Head of Transformation (previously their Head of Instagram Reels), the concept came from a realisation that most conferences are too full of… people and ideas. “No one remembers keynote speakers. Everyone remembers that weird, overlong convo in the hallway with someone who worked on the Whittaker’s Oat Milk pitch,” she said, while adjusting an ironic lanyard printed with Comic Sans.
Microconferences are capped at three attendees, a 13-minute agenda, and one untouched antipasto platter. Some sessions end early if someone gets anxious or realises they haven’t posted to LinkedIn in 20 minutes. Rooms must be windowless and signal-deprived, ensuring the true agency experience: disorientation.
As for pricing, the agency is unapologetic. “$7,000 per participant is actually below market, if you account for the free branded socks and hard seltzer we provide,” said the CFO, who joined the company last Wednesday. Future topics include ‘Unlocking Authentic Engagement Through Apologising Less’ and ‘How to Rebrand Your Break Room as a Culture Lab’. Early bird registrations have already sold out, with several clients reportedly locking in sessions for their dogs, "just in case there’s a vibe check value-add."