Agency Unveils 'Meeting-of-the-Week Loyalty Card' to Combat Calendar Fatigue
In a move that industry insiders are calling 'either revolutionary or deeply concerning', Auckland-based creative agency Keen & Keen has launched a loyalty card programme... for internal meetings.
Dubbed the 'Meeting-of-the-Week Club', the initiative rewards staff who attend five or more internal catch-ups per week with perks ranging from slightly better coffee to a limited-edition stress ball shaped like a calendar invite. The launch was announced during a 9:00am Monday 'Strategic Touchbase' attended by 14 people, nine of whom weren’t sure why they were invited.
"We wanted to gamify engagement, incentivise alignment, and more importantly, stop people from screaming into their laptops," said Emerging Culture Architect and Associate Vice-Head of Something, Lindsay Brockman. "We’ve noticed that peak creative output actually happens about three minutes before an all-hands Zoom, and we’re aiming to bottle that chaos."
Each loyalty tier comes with escalating rewards. Five meetings unlock a branded clicky pen. Ten gets you one free 'no-reply' to a Slack thread. The coveted platinum tier (20+ meetings) wins the holder the right to say 'let’s park that' without making eye contact. Staff are already trading badge screenshots like NFTs in 2021, with whispers of a black-market exchange for early log-outs. Keen & Keen has confirmed a digital leaderboard will be projected in the kitchen next to the kombucha tap.
Critics have suggested that fewer meetings might be the real solution. Brockman responded by scheduling a 'Feedback Alignment Pulse Touchpoint' to address concerns. It's slated for Thursday at 2:15pm, the exact time everyone hits their third coffee and reevaluates their career.
Dubbed the 'Meeting-of-the-Week Club', the initiative rewards staff who attend five or more internal catch-ups per week with perks ranging from slightly better coffee to a limited-edition stress ball shaped like a calendar invite. The launch was announced during a 9:00am Monday 'Strategic Touchbase' attended by 14 people, nine of whom weren’t sure why they were invited.
"We wanted to gamify engagement, incentivise alignment, and more importantly, stop people from screaming into their laptops," said Emerging Culture Architect and Associate Vice-Head of Something, Lindsay Brockman. "We’ve noticed that peak creative output actually happens about three minutes before an all-hands Zoom, and we’re aiming to bottle that chaos."
Each loyalty tier comes with escalating rewards. Five meetings unlock a branded clicky pen. Ten gets you one free 'no-reply' to a Slack thread. The coveted platinum tier (20+ meetings) wins the holder the right to say 'let’s park that' without making eye contact. Staff are already trading badge screenshots like NFTs in 2021, with whispers of a black-market exchange for early log-outs. Keen & Keen has confirmed a digital leaderboard will be projected in the kitchen next to the kombucha tap.
Critics have suggested that fewer meetings might be the real solution. Brockman responded by scheduling a 'Feedback Alignment Pulse Touchpoint' to address concerns. It's slated for Thursday at 2:15pm, the exact time everyone hits their third coffee and reevaluates their career.