Wellington Agency Declares Itself 'Carbon Positive' After Planting Succulent in Office Toilet
WELLINGTON, 14 April 2025 — In a bold move for sustainability and indoor plumbing, boutique agency Pith & Gumption has declared itself 'carbon positive' following the introduction of a single, vaguely green succulent to the staff toilets.
According to the agency’s twelve-page media kit, the plant, affectionately named George, was sourced from the Kilbirnie Bunnings and placed tactically on top of the toilet cistern during a Friday reset. ‘This is bigger than net zero,’ said Strategy Director Leon Partridge, who also manages Pith & Gumption’s fortnightly Gong Ceremony and all staff Spotify playlists. ‘George absorbs toxins, vibes, and at least some of the passive aggression about bathroom cleanliness.’
The agency claims the succulent offsets all emissions generated from its in-house cold brew, foosball tournaments, and the occasional Fiat 500 Uber split to Ponsonby meetings. Internally, the achievement unlocked ‘Green Status’ on their custom-built agency dashboard, which also tracks ‘vibe metrics’ and every time someone says the word 'nimble' in a meeting.
Despite skeptical murmurs from rival agencies—one of which reportedly accused George of being “plastic adjacent”—Pith & Gumption is already nominating itself for a BreatheEasy Award and says it plans to scale the initiative globally, starting with one Monstera in the Sydney outpost lobby. Applications for their in-house Sustainability Placement (unpaid, BYO KeepCup) are now open.
According to the agency’s twelve-page media kit, the plant, affectionately named George, was sourced from the Kilbirnie Bunnings and placed tactically on top of the toilet cistern during a Friday reset. ‘This is bigger than net zero,’ said Strategy Director Leon Partridge, who also manages Pith & Gumption’s fortnightly Gong Ceremony and all staff Spotify playlists. ‘George absorbs toxins, vibes, and at least some of the passive aggression about bathroom cleanliness.’
The agency claims the succulent offsets all emissions generated from its in-house cold brew, foosball tournaments, and the occasional Fiat 500 Uber split to Ponsonby meetings. Internally, the achievement unlocked ‘Green Status’ on their custom-built agency dashboard, which also tracks ‘vibe metrics’ and every time someone says the word 'nimble' in a meeting.
Despite skeptical murmurs from rival agencies—one of which reportedly accused George of being “plastic adjacent”—Pith & Gumption is already nominating itself for a BreatheEasy Award and says it plans to scale the initiative globally, starting with one Monstera in the Sydney outpost lobby. Applications for their in-house Sustainability Placement (unpaid, BYO KeepCup) are now open.