Auckland Agency Introduces Mandatory ‘Think-Walks’ to Combat Creative Block and Midlife Crises
AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND — In a bold move against stagnation, small talk, and Wednesdays, inner-city agency Blurt&Co has officially launched its new internal initiative: ‘Think-Walks’. Effective immediately, all creative staff must log a minimum of 11,000 steps daily while contemplating KPIs, brand essence, and the disappearance of bowl food from catered events.
“Strategy is mobile,” proclaimed Creative Director Jan Ormsby, who unveiled the policy mid-stride through Grey Lynn Park. “If your ideas can’t survive uphill, they don’t deserve a media budget.” Employees are issued branded Fitbit knockoffs and filtered water in jars. Juniors have been sighted plotting campaigns in traffic islands, and one planner reportedly reached Ōrākei by mistake while ‘deeply ideating’.
The policy also aims to curb what HR has dubbed ‘Premature Ideation Fatigue’, a phenomenon in which creatives generate a single passable idea and spend the rest of the week Photoshopping it onto a bus stop. “You’ve got to cyclically ideate,” said Jan, now circling a duckpond. “Or at least be somewhere far enough from the office that you can’t be roped into writing retail radio.”
Despite early pushback from the copywriters’ union (three people, one WhatsApp group titled ‘Wordle First’), many staff are on board. Blurt&Co reports a 60% improvement in ‘Overall Vibe’ since the programme began, with only two sprained ankles and one intern lost to the Waitākere Ranges.
“Strategy is mobile,” proclaimed Creative Director Jan Ormsby, who unveiled the policy mid-stride through Grey Lynn Park. “If your ideas can’t survive uphill, they don’t deserve a media budget.” Employees are issued branded Fitbit knockoffs and filtered water in jars. Juniors have been sighted plotting campaigns in traffic islands, and one planner reportedly reached Ōrākei by mistake while ‘deeply ideating’.
The policy also aims to curb what HR has dubbed ‘Premature Ideation Fatigue’, a phenomenon in which creatives generate a single passable idea and spend the rest of the week Photoshopping it onto a bus stop. “You’ve got to cyclically ideate,” said Jan, now circling a duckpond. “Or at least be somewhere far enough from the office that you can’t be roped into writing retail radio.”
Despite early pushback from the copywriters’ union (three people, one WhatsApp group titled ‘Wordle First’), many staff are on board. Blurt&Co reports a 60% improvement in ‘Overall Vibe’ since the programme began, with only two sprained ankles and one intern lost to the Waitākere Ranges.