Agency Introduces Nine-Step Approval Process for Quick Slacks Fridays
Auckland-based agency Pink Wedge has unveiled a new internal policy that’s redefining casual office culture. Effective immediately, all employees wishing to wear ‘quick slacks’—the industry term for semi-smart, questionably ironed trousers—on Fridays must submit a QR-coded Application for Lower Garment Freedom (ALG-FR4) by Tuesday noon.
“Client expectations aren’t what they were,” said Vanessa Rills, Senior Director of Culture Curation and Morning Toast Management. “We can't have strategists turning up to 10am stand-ups in things that resemble pyjamas with belt loops.”
The approval process includes a Slack-integrated ‘Vibe Check’ bot, a blind review of trouser fabric by a six-person panel, and—somehow—a climate impact scoring system that runs off spreadsheets no one knows how to update. One junior account manager was reportedly flagged for ‘crispy pantaphobia,’ sparking an internal wellness week devoted to ‘textile neutrality.’
Despite initial backlash, the policy has already been adopted by three other mid-tier agencies, citing an 18 percent reduction in “visual discomfort” and a surprising uptick in ‘walk-with-purpose’ energy in the foyer. Talk of a companion policy for sock transparency is currently stuck in committee after someone wore toe shoes ironically and HR has yet to recover.
"We’re building a future,” said Rills, “where we don’t have to ask, ‘Is that linen or just lazy?’.”
“Client expectations aren’t what they were,” said Vanessa Rills, Senior Director of Culture Curation and Morning Toast Management. “We can't have strategists turning up to 10am stand-ups in things that resemble pyjamas with belt loops.”
The approval process includes a Slack-integrated ‘Vibe Check’ bot, a blind review of trouser fabric by a six-person panel, and—somehow—a climate impact scoring system that runs off spreadsheets no one knows how to update. One junior account manager was reportedly flagged for ‘crispy pantaphobia,’ sparking an internal wellness week devoted to ‘textile neutrality.’
Despite initial backlash, the policy has already been adopted by three other mid-tier agencies, citing an 18 percent reduction in “visual discomfort” and a surprising uptick in ‘walk-with-purpose’ energy in the foyer. Talk of a companion policy for sock transparency is currently stuck in committee after someone wore toe shoes ironically and HR has yet to recover.
"We’re building a future,” said Rills, “where we don’t have to ask, ‘Is that linen or just lazy?’.”