Ad Agency Launches 'Ego Recalibration Leave' After Staff Fight Over Bean Bag Colour
In a bold move set to redefine workplace wellness (and tone down the volume on passive-aggressive Slack messages), Wellington-based creative agency BranFace has officially introduced 'Ego Recalibration Leave'. The new policy, unveiled during a team-wide Zoom call that 3.5 people listened to, offers staff five paid days per year to "spiritually decompress from creative differences that escalated unnecessarily".
The catalyst? A three-hour strategy stand-off between a junior copywriter and a UX lead over the appropriate Pantone swatch for a bean bag redesign in the office 'Inspiration Nook'. The dispute, described by HR as ‘visually traumatic’, reportedly ended when someone threw a Brussels sprout smoothie. The UX lead has since apologised and will be taking recalibration leave to 'realign his chi with grid-based principles'.
According to the internal memo, the leave is “to be used after the point where good banter becomes irreparable brand trauma”. Suggested triggers include: feral brainstorms about toothpaste NFTs, the fifteenth round of logo revisions with the client’s cousin, and any workshop involving string and walls. The agency is also trialling a 'Safe Word' system. The current safe word is 'courgette' but may be changed monthly by a cross-functional acronym team.
CEO Marley Crankshaw, in a follow-up Instagram Reel composed entirely of slow-motion kettle pours, explained the initiative reflects BranFace’s commitment to 'mental fertilisation and holistic decommercialisation'. She declined to comment on whether the bean bags will ever arrive.
The catalyst? A three-hour strategy stand-off between a junior copywriter and a UX lead over the appropriate Pantone swatch for a bean bag redesign in the office 'Inspiration Nook'. The dispute, described by HR as ‘visually traumatic’, reportedly ended when someone threw a Brussels sprout smoothie. The UX lead has since apologised and will be taking recalibration leave to 'realign his chi with grid-based principles'.
According to the internal memo, the leave is “to be used after the point where good banter becomes irreparable brand trauma”. Suggested triggers include: feral brainstorms about toothpaste NFTs, the fifteenth round of logo revisions with the client’s cousin, and any workshop involving string and walls. The agency is also trialling a 'Safe Word' system. The current safe word is 'courgette' but may be changed monthly by a cross-functional acronym team.
CEO Marley Crankshaw, in a follow-up Instagram Reel composed entirely of slow-motion kettle pours, explained the initiative reflects BranFace’s commitment to 'mental fertilisation and holistic decommercialisation'. She declined to comment on whether the bean bags will ever arrive.