Agency Introduces Revolutionary 'Conceptual Billing' Model, Stops Doing Actual Work
In a disruptive move destined to be misunderstood at worst and deeply annoying at best, Auckland-based agency Hoot & Swagger has proudly announced the launch of its new 'Conceptual Billing' model. Instead of charging clients for campaigns, deliverables, or, say, work, Hoot & Swagger will now invoice based on the intensity of vibes generated during internal brainstorms.
“We just realised,” said Strategy Director Tessa Langford while wearing an ironic scarf in December, “the real value we provide isn’t in the output. It’s in the pre-output. The pre-pre-output, even. The glimmer of a whisper of a thought. That moment someone says 'let’s workshop that' during a WIP—that’s where the magic is.”
Clients will be charged in ‘Mood Hours’, a fluid new metric based on how many Spotify Nujabes tracks were played during ideation, multiplied by the number of lukewarm Pic’s peanut butter coffees consumed. Early beta testing with an unsuspecting fintech brand saw monthly costs triple despite zero changes in campaign activity. "We're thrilled," said the confused marketing manager, “though I do miss getting actual ads.”
Internally, staff have embraced the new system with what one junior copywriter described as “loathe-buzz.” Creative teams now track their productivity using a wall-mounted wooden abacus that records high-level musings, such as ‘should we reimagine the brief as a sculpture?’ and ‘what if strategy WAS the execution?’ An internal Slack channel, #conceptual-zone, has posted nothing tangibly useful in six weeks, but is reportedly 'on fire'.
The Commerce Commission declined to comment, saying only that it 'needed to sit with this'.
“We just realised,” said Strategy Director Tessa Langford while wearing an ironic scarf in December, “the real value we provide isn’t in the output. It’s in the pre-output. The pre-pre-output, even. The glimmer of a whisper of a thought. That moment someone says 'let’s workshop that' during a WIP—that’s where the magic is.”
Clients will be charged in ‘Mood Hours’, a fluid new metric based on how many Spotify Nujabes tracks were played during ideation, multiplied by the number of lukewarm Pic’s peanut butter coffees consumed. Early beta testing with an unsuspecting fintech brand saw monthly costs triple despite zero changes in campaign activity. "We're thrilled," said the confused marketing manager, “though I do miss getting actual ads.”
Internally, staff have embraced the new system with what one junior copywriter described as “loathe-buzz.” Creative teams now track their productivity using a wall-mounted wooden abacus that records high-level musings, such as ‘should we reimagine the brief as a sculpture?’ and ‘what if strategy WAS the execution?’ An internal Slack channel, #conceptual-zone, has posted nothing tangibly useful in six weeks, but is reportedly 'on fire'.
The Commerce Commission declined to comment, saying only that it 'needed to sit with this'.