Auckland Agency Declares War on 'Blue Sky Thinking', Bans All Metaphors Until Q3
In a bold move set to revolutionise the way absolutely nothing is done, Auckland-based creative agency Verb&Adjective has officially outlawed the phrase 'blue sky thinking' and placed a temporary moratorium on all metaphors until at least the end of Q3. The initiative, dubbed 'Operation Literal', was introduced after an all-agency offsite at a Taupō paintball park where a strategist reportedly said 'let's map the customer journey across emotional touchpoints' and was pelted with biodegradable pellets by the entire finance department.
The ban is part of a wider push towards what the agency is calling 'radical mundanity'. ECD Hannah Thorne, who once described a pitch deck as a 'symphony of scalable disruption', now insists all creative reviews end in a plainspoken summary that could fit on a Bunnings receipt. 'If your idea can’t be explained without referencing clouds, galaxies or magic dust, it’s probably a brand activation that no one asked for,' said Thorne, who also banned the word 'immersive' unless someone is actually underwater.
Staff have been issued laminated 'Buzzword Emergency Cards' with approved phrases like 'we're stuck', 'this looks fine' and 'let's try something smaller'. All metaphors, similes and poetic devices are to be stored in a locked drawer until September. Junior copywriter Max Lin, who made it to the semi-finals of the New Zealand Poetry Slam last year, has been reassigned to writing toaster manuals until his language stabilises.
The move has been well received by clients, especially the regional branch of Mitre 10, whose latest campaign was articulated solely in bulleted lists and poorly lit product photos. 'It’s just nice to know exactly what people mean for once,' said Mitre 10's marketing manager, Lorraine. 'No one told me we’d be circling back on anything.'
The ban is part of a wider push towards what the agency is calling 'radical mundanity'. ECD Hannah Thorne, who once described a pitch deck as a 'symphony of scalable disruption', now insists all creative reviews end in a plainspoken summary that could fit on a Bunnings receipt. 'If your idea can’t be explained without referencing clouds, galaxies or magic dust, it’s probably a brand activation that no one asked for,' said Thorne, who also banned the word 'immersive' unless someone is actually underwater.
Staff have been issued laminated 'Buzzword Emergency Cards' with approved phrases like 'we're stuck', 'this looks fine' and 'let's try something smaller'. All metaphors, similes and poetic devices are to be stored in a locked drawer until September. Junior copywriter Max Lin, who made it to the semi-finals of the New Zealand Poetry Slam last year, has been reassigned to writing toaster manuals until his language stabilises.
The move has been well received by clients, especially the regional branch of Mitre 10, whose latest campaign was articulated solely in bulleted lists and poorly lit product photos. 'It’s just nice to know exactly what people mean for once,' said Mitre 10's marketing manager, Lorraine. 'No one told me we’d be circling back on anything.'