Agency Releases Groundbreaking Biscuit Framework, Claims Morale Up 4 Percent
Auckland agency Half Past Nine has today announced the results of its six month internal pilot, the Three Biscuit Strategy. Framed as a cultural reset but written like a case study, the initiative formalised what biscuits appear in meetings, when they appear, and who is allowed to reach for a third. According to the press release, clarity was needed after years of passive aggressive snack behaviour and one incident involving a chocolate digestive being broken in half without consultation.
The framework divides meetings into three tiers. Status updates receive plain biscuits only, nothing with filling, nothing exciting. Brainstorm sessions unlock the chocolate range, provided the meeting agenda is printed and at least one person says, let’s park that. Client calls are strictly limited to one biscuit per person, chosen in advance, to reflect restraint and strategic focus. Gluten free options are available but must be announced verbally to the room so everyone understands the sacrifice being made.
Half Past Nine says the results speak for themselves. Billable hours stayed flat but eye contact increased. Junior staff reported feeling seen after the introduction of a rotating Biscuit Captain role, complete with lanyard and clipboard. The agency claims a 12 percent reduction in unnecessary follow up meetings, largely attributed to people talking faster once the good biscuits were visible.
The agency plans to roll out a biscuit playbook later this year, with a thought leadership breakfast for invited CMOs who enjoy nodding thoughtfully. A spokesperson confirmed no further innovation is planned at this stage, saying the team is still recovering from a heated internal debate about whether shortbread counts as a thinking biscuit or a reward biscuit.
The framework divides meetings into three tiers. Status updates receive plain biscuits only, nothing with filling, nothing exciting. Brainstorm sessions unlock the chocolate range, provided the meeting agenda is printed and at least one person says, let’s park that. Client calls are strictly limited to one biscuit per person, chosen in advance, to reflect restraint and strategic focus. Gluten free options are available but must be announced verbally to the room so everyone understands the sacrifice being made.
Half Past Nine says the results speak for themselves. Billable hours stayed flat but eye contact increased. Junior staff reported feeling seen after the introduction of a rotating Biscuit Captain role, complete with lanyard and clipboard. The agency claims a 12 percent reduction in unnecessary follow up meetings, largely attributed to people talking faster once the good biscuits were visible.
The agency plans to roll out a biscuit playbook later this year, with a thought leadership breakfast for invited CMOs who enjoy nodding thoughtfully. A spokesperson confirmed no further innovation is planned at this stage, saying the team is still recovering from a heated internal debate about whether shortbread counts as a thinking biscuit or a reward biscuit.