Local Agency Launches Pre-Read Certification After Years of Silent Suffering
AUCKLAND, Tuesday. Following extensive internal research conducted entirely in the lift, South Pacific agency Wattle & Co has announced the launch of its Pre-Read Certification Programme. The initiative formalises what staff already knew, nobody reads the pre-read, but everyone pretends they did. The agency says the programme will bring clarity, accountability, and a new font size to the chaos of Monday meetings.
The certification requires all documents sent ahead of time to be at least 38 pages long, include a contents page no one will reference, and feature a slide titled Context that explains nothing. A case study appendix must be added for confidence. Preferably from 2019. Preferably from Australia. Wattle & Co insists this level of detail is crucial, as it allows senior leadership to ask if there is a shorter version five minutes into the meeting.
As part of the rollout, the agency has published an internal case study praising a recent win where the pre-read was circulated at 9.12pm, opened by no one, and still described as super helpful in the debrief. The study notes strong alignment across the room, despite three people quietly asking what the meeting was about. A fourth person nodded with purpose. This was highlighted as best practice.
Managing Partner Claire Rata said the programme reflects the agency’s commitment to process excellence. She added that next quarter will focus on standardising the phrase Just to build on that, and introducing a formal moment where someone asks if this is still on track for fifteen minutes. Early feedback has been positive, particularly from middle management, who now feel seen.
The certification requires all documents sent ahead of time to be at least 38 pages long, include a contents page no one will reference, and feature a slide titled Context that explains nothing. A case study appendix must be added for confidence. Preferably from 2019. Preferably from Australia. Wattle & Co insists this level of detail is crucial, as it allows senior leadership to ask if there is a shorter version five minutes into the meeting.
As part of the rollout, the agency has published an internal case study praising a recent win where the pre-read was circulated at 9.12pm, opened by no one, and still described as super helpful in the debrief. The study notes strong alignment across the room, despite three people quietly asking what the meeting was about. A fourth person nodded with purpose. This was highlighted as best practice.
Managing Partner Claire Rata said the programme reflects the agency’s commitment to process excellence. She added that next quarter will focus on standardising the phrase Just to build on that, and introducing a formal moment where someone asks if this is still on track for fifteen minutes. Early feedback has been positive, particularly from middle management, who now feel seen.