Oat Milk Brand Launches Loyalty Scheme for People Who Say 'No Ice, Please' Out Loud
In a brave pivot toward rewarding customer bravery, independent oat milk brand GrainDrain has launched an industry-first loyalty programme exclusively for customers who say 'No ice, please' audibly at cafes. The move targets what their press release politely calls the 'shy-but-specific demographic', those who know what they want but still make it sound like a question.
Under the scheme, called 'Chilly Points', customers will earn ten points per verbalised ice declination, which can be redeemed for high-value rewards like a single biodegradable straw or a fridge magnet that says 'Room Temp is a Right'. If the phrase is said with unwavering eye contact, patrons receive double points. A whisper will earn you nothing. A mere head shake may result in negative points.
“Too often, our customers settle for lukewarm compromise,” said Leon Berryman, GrainDrain’s charismatic founder who wore six scarves to a 26-degree launch event. “GrainDrain is about empowerment. If you can stand at the crowded counter of a café in Mt Eden and clearly say, ‘No ice, please,’ to a barista named Ceejay who definitely judges you, you deserve more than just tepid oat milk. You deserve status.”
The programme has already seen limited rollout in select Ponsonby cafes, where staff are being trained to accept spoken instructions without passive-aggressive clarification. Early adopters include a woman named Madeleine who got her first reward after three months of mumbling and one disastrous misheard order that led to an iced turmeric flat white. She described her victory as 'quietly affirming'. The retail rollout is expected sometime in March, once GrainDrain confirms whether anyone outside of Grey Lynn says it out loud at all.
Under the scheme, called 'Chilly Points', customers will earn ten points per verbalised ice declination, which can be redeemed for high-value rewards like a single biodegradable straw or a fridge magnet that says 'Room Temp is a Right'. If the phrase is said with unwavering eye contact, patrons receive double points. A whisper will earn you nothing. A mere head shake may result in negative points.
“Too often, our customers settle for lukewarm compromise,” said Leon Berryman, GrainDrain’s charismatic founder who wore six scarves to a 26-degree launch event. “GrainDrain is about empowerment. If you can stand at the crowded counter of a café in Mt Eden and clearly say, ‘No ice, please,’ to a barista named Ceejay who definitely judges you, you deserve more than just tepid oat milk. You deserve status.”
The programme has already seen limited rollout in select Ponsonby cafes, where staff are being trained to accept spoken instructions without passive-aggressive clarification. Early adopters include a woman named Madeleine who got her first reward after three months of mumbling and one disastrous misheard order that led to an iced turmeric flat white. She described her victory as 'quietly affirming'. The retail rollout is expected sometime in March, once GrainDrain confirms whether anyone outside of Grey Lynn says it out loud at all.