Creative Director Claims Win on Client Pitch After Team Forgets to Send It
In what industry insiders are already calling the boldest strategic ghost pitch of 2026, Auckland agency Kelp & Clatter has claimed victory on a major client brief... they never actually submitted.
The client in question, a regional dried fig distributor known only as "Superior Figs," reportedly praised the agency’s ‘pared back, non-invasive approach to storytelling,’ citing their ‘confident restraint’ as a reason for awarding the $12,000 brand refresh. According to internal emails leaked from Kelp & Clatter’s Slack, the real story is slightly less visionary: the junior strategist tasked with uploading the pitch deck got distracted by a two-hour internal debate over the ethics of pumpkin typography, and never actually sent the file.
Head of Creative, Jordi Plum, is standing by the agency’s accidental silence. "Too many voices clutter the consumer journey. We chose absence. It’s the boldest form of presence," he said, while allegedly sketching a tree branch in his Moleskine and referring to it as a ‘natural UX schematic.’
When asked what the actual campaign will entail, Plum remained vague, saying the brand refresh will feature ‘unbranded branding,’ a ‘non-logo logo,’ and all creative will be delivered in biodegradable jars of a mood-preserving fig jam that can only be opened under a full moon. When queried on timelines, a senior account manager quietly admitted, "Honestly, we still don’t know what the actual brief was. But the client’s stoked, and we’re already submitting it for nine awards."
The client in question, a regional dried fig distributor known only as "Superior Figs," reportedly praised the agency’s ‘pared back, non-invasive approach to storytelling,’ citing their ‘confident restraint’ as a reason for awarding the $12,000 brand refresh. According to internal emails leaked from Kelp & Clatter’s Slack, the real story is slightly less visionary: the junior strategist tasked with uploading the pitch deck got distracted by a two-hour internal debate over the ethics of pumpkin typography, and never actually sent the file.
Head of Creative, Jordi Plum, is standing by the agency’s accidental silence. "Too many voices clutter the consumer journey. We chose absence. It’s the boldest form of presence," he said, while allegedly sketching a tree branch in his Moleskine and referring to it as a ‘natural UX schematic.’
When asked what the actual campaign will entail, Plum remained vague, saying the brand refresh will feature ‘unbranded branding,’ a ‘non-logo logo,’ and all creative will be delivered in biodegradable jars of a mood-preserving fig jam that can only be opened under a full moon. When queried on timelines, a senior account manager quietly admitted, "Honestly, we still don’t know what the actual brief was. But the client’s stoked, and we’re already submitting it for nine awards."