Local Agency Launches Strategic Biscuit Framework After Six-Month Procurement Review
Auckland based creative shop Lantern & Vale has today unveiled what it calls a “category redefining internal alignment platform”, otherwise known as a new biscuit policy. The announcement follows a rigorous six month review process involving procurement, three ECDs, and one traumatised office manager who just wanted to buy a packet of Super Wines.
The agency confirmed the move comes after “heightened stakeholder tension” around the 3.17pm snack window, when Account Management traditionally circles the kitchen island and Creative arrives five minutes later pretending they were in a call. Data revealed that Chocolate Thins were being consumed at a rate 43 percent higher by Strategy, while Sales continued to hoard the Tim Tams in desk drawers “for clients”. A cross functional taskforce was assembled. There were workshops. There was a mood board. At one point someone used the phrase biscuit ecosystem.
Under the new framework, biscuits will be rotated quarterly to “maintain intrigue and drive cultural momentum”. Nice biscuits have been repositioned as a legacy tier offering. Squiggles are now classified as a high impact celebration asset and require calendar approval. A pilot programme introducing Malt Biscuits as a value play was quietly shelved after staff described it as “aggressive”. The agency insists the changes will unlock collaboration and reduce passive aggressive Slack messages that simply read, “Wow. No biscuits left.”
Managing Partner Eloise Keddie said the initiative proves Lantern & Vale is serious about “future proofing joy”. She confirmed the policy will be entered into at least two award shows under the Brand Experience category. Early bird entry closes Friday. Procurement is said to be thrilled.
The agency confirmed the move comes after “heightened stakeholder tension” around the 3.17pm snack window, when Account Management traditionally circles the kitchen island and Creative arrives five minutes later pretending they were in a call. Data revealed that Chocolate Thins were being consumed at a rate 43 percent higher by Strategy, while Sales continued to hoard the Tim Tams in desk drawers “for clients”. A cross functional taskforce was assembled. There were workshops. There was a mood board. At one point someone used the phrase biscuit ecosystem.
Under the new framework, biscuits will be rotated quarterly to “maintain intrigue and drive cultural momentum”. Nice biscuits have been repositioned as a legacy tier offering. Squiggles are now classified as a high impact celebration asset and require calendar approval. A pilot programme introducing Malt Biscuits as a value play was quietly shelved after staff described it as “aggressive”. The agency insists the changes will unlock collaboration and reduce passive aggressive Slack messages that simply read, “Wow. No biscuits left.”
Managing Partner Eloise Keddie said the initiative proves Lantern & Vale is serious about “future proofing joy”. She confirmed the policy will be entered into at least two award shows under the Brand Experience category. Early bird entry closes Friday. Procurement is said to be thrilled.